Banal Fixation

November 6, 2009

Seriously Dudes - You need to wear this now.

Example two! Jon Favreau = Obama's speechwriter = MVP Top Girl Crush 2008/2009

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November 3, 2009

Note to ALL MEN EVERYWHERE (especially in close proximity to the 10003 zip code.)

Please wear this or a variation of this every day. Yes please, Mrs. Adams!

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October 26, 2009

Everytime I come here! Everytime, you two!

Ok, best use of the song from a 90s movie. The 'omg, this guy is such a baller, I can't believe what a big tipper he is, and something doesn't feel quite right but they just set up a whole table for us with a LAMP and everything so I will ignore any misgivings for now since I am way hugely attracted to him" date at the Copa from Goodfellas!

Goodnight Banal Fixation readers (Mom.)!

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October 26, 2009

Then He Kissed Me!

Ok, now I must include the best getting ready for a date scene from an 80's movie. Elisabeth Shue in "Adventures in Babysitting" getting ready for the best night of her life with... Bradley Whitford (Josh Lyman!). What? I know. But aren't they supposed to be in high school? Of course. Why is he trying so hard to do his best Dylan McKay impression when 90210 won't be on for another 5 years?? I don't know. Then after all the getting ready, and Bradley Whitford doing his sexy-guy face he goes on to stand her up! But all works out! And she ends up making out with the the dreamy fiance from "Father of the Bride!"

This below is of course a most faithful reenaction of what it is like to get ready for a date, missing only pre-partying to the Notebook, and of course doing an "If They Mated" photo collage of what future offspring would look like.

Enjoy!

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October 26, 2009

Moonstruck

I love this scene so much. If you have to, you can fast-forward through the first two minutes where she is getting ready for the date. (though that's what it's like, ok? well, i usually don't have wine first. but playing with your shoes and trying on your dress in front of the mirror, yes.)

Then they walk back to his place and Nicholas Cage says this on the street:

Loretta, I love you. Not like they told you love is,
and I didnt know this either, but love dont make things nice - it
ruins everything. It breaks your heart. It makes things a mess. We
arent here to make things perfect. The snowflakes are perfect. The
stars are perfect. Not us. Not us! We are here to ruin ourselves
and to break our hearts and love the wrong people and *die*. The
storybooks are bullshit. Now I want you to come upstairs with me
and get in my bed!

- John Patrick Shanley

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October 26, 2009

And I Love Her

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October 8, 2009

Does this tshirt bulge?

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October 8, 2009

Just got bangs!

I just got bangs last night! I have been dabbling in a sidebang for years - but this is the first time I have a full on bang. I was a bit worried, but now really like it. However, am paranoid of course.

This is who I want to look like with bangs: Zooey Deschanel,

and Jenny Lewis,

This is who I am hugely afraid of looking like if I am not diligent about blowdrying/hair products:

Mo from the Three Stooges,

and of course Lloyd Christmas -

Here's hoping...

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September 30, 2009

You're the only star in the film I never made.

Rewind by Goldspot

(download)

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September 30, 2009

Fw: New! Smokin' Hot Meat & Potatoes

Below is a very typical email I received from my Mom just now. There are many notable elements when broken down illustrating exactly why I am, in fact, the way that I am.

1. Receiving an email with "Smokin' Hot Meat" in the subject title from my 58-year old Mother does not make me flinch at all. Whereas you might assume your Mom's email account has been hacked, my first thought is "Of course! Mom must be on a smoked meats mailing list. This sounds about right..."

2. I am 0% surprised my Mom is on a mailing list for Famous Dave's, a semi-popular Midwestern chain of ribs restaurants - which has now, God help us all, opened their newest location in New York's very own Times Square. If you happen to run into my parents and myself roaming the streets you should know that we are either on our way or returning from a visit to Famous Dave's. This will be easy to ascertain due to my parents inversely proportionate amount of either exhuberance and and happiness to be in NY and with their daughters! (en route to Famous Dave's) Or haggardness/ generally taciturn demeanor. (post-Famous Dave's)

3. The final point of subtext in this email is that my Mom genuinely thinks I would like to put that Bachelor of Fine Arts to good use (kill meeee) and create a short film about, wait for it, a new menu item at the middling chain restaurant my parents frequent in order for a shot at the gold! Sundance? Better. Acclaim from the entertainment industry I have been longing to be a part of since my first Tampax commercial audition in 2003? Of course not. Street cred? Hardly. Much, much better.

A shot at $1000 US. And of course the pride my parents will feel when the next time they set foot at their local Famous Dave's a new dialogue occurs:

Poor, Famous Dave's Hostess: [monotone] Hello, and welcome to Famous Dave's.

My Dad: Hi, I'm Famous Ed. My wife and I would like a table for two.

My Mom: Oh, ha!! Ed!!! HA! [shaking head as if to think, "How DID I get so lucky all those years ago at that early-70s Jewish temple dance!]

Poor, Famous Dave's Hostess: ............ Ok. Well I can show you to your table then.

(AND NOW NEW DIALOGUE BELOW:)

My Dad: Great. You know our Michie won your ribs filmmaking contest!

Poor, Famous Dave's Hostess: ..................

My Mom: Yep, she sure did! I sent her the email! We are so proud!

My Dad: I am just going to cry all over my ribs. But first can you bring me a huge Diet Coke with a stack of napkins this thick.

FINIS.

Ok, I just have something in both my eyes now... Lemme know if anyone has any meat/potatos/corn DP experience - just email me, thanks guys...

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Mom
Date: Wed, Sep 30, 2009 at 9:27 AM
Subject: Fw: New! Smokin' Hot Meat & Potatoes

Hi Michie,

Here's a chance to win $1000 for doing a short film for Dave's! Just thought I'd let you know.

Love,

Mom

--- On Tue, 9/29/09, Famous Dave's <Famous_Daves@famousdaves.fishbowl.com> wrote:

From: Famous Dave's <Famous_Daves@famousdaves.fishbowl.com>
Subject: New! Smokin' Hot Meat & Potatoes
To: "dianemarkowitz@yahoo.com" <dianemarkowitz@yahoo.com>
Date: Tuesday, September 29, 2009, 2:51 PM

Problem viewing? Click here.

Diane,

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