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Top 3 Reasons Why I Will Never Be Able to Have Sex Again

This has been a banner week of boner-killing revelations and images.  It would take a lot of emotionally intense conversations/asking questions about my life/making me laugh (keys to the city boys!) to recover from this.  Behold:
 
1.  Mackenzie Phillips + John Phillips revelation.  Let's not ruin this with words.
 
2.  This article about Bernie + Ruth Madoff this morning (via NY Magazine), "In an interview with Diane Sawyer, Ross related the following information about Bernie and Ruth's behavior while the Ponzi-schemer was being held on house arrest:"Some of the times they walked around naked, Bernie and Ruth, there were surveillance cameras there. They had to be told. "Remember, we can see you."
 
Why do I keep reading articles in which I have to imagine Bernie Madoff's schmeckel?  Not good.
 
3.  Peggy Olson + Duck Phillips.  Hermes her?  I hardly know her. 
 
"I want to take you into that bedroom, lock the door, take your clothes off with my teeth, throw you on the bed and give you a go-around like you've never had"
 
Would that he were bedless, clothesless, and toothless.

     
Click here to download:
Top_3_Reasons_Why_I_Will_Never.zip (138 KB)

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